Dearest Diary
by RavenWriter1886
Summary: When Ciel mistakenly leaves his diary in his office, Sebastian discovers it and finds himself intrigued by the boy's ideas and personal thoughts. Warning: Yaoi
1. Chapter 1 - The Mind Game

**Disclaimer: **Yana Toboso owns "Kuroshitsuji" and all of its characters featured in this story. I do not.**  
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**Authors Note: **This is my first FanFiction that I've posted online, and I hope to upload many, many more in the future! I've read over it multiple times, but since this _is _

my first, I've probably made a few mistakes, so if you'd like to point something out to me I'd be happy to correct it. Instructive criticism is welcome! Also, I want to go

ahead and warn you: This is yaoi. If you don't like yaoi, then you probably don't want to read it. I'm open to suggestions for future chapters. Please feel free to

comment and review. Thanks! - RavenWriter1886

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**Dearest Diary - ****Chapter 1 **

**The Mind Game**

**S**ebastian Michaelis first noticed his young master's strange behavior sometime around the beginning of spring. The temperature had risen

considerably in the past few days, and for the first time in months, Ciel Phantomhive had ventured outside for a walk through the rose garden.

Sebastian had been curious about the true nature of Ciel's little walk, as the young earl spent little time outdoors and the flowers had yet to bloom.

After debating as to whether or not he should secretly follow his master, Sebastian was approached by the Phantomhive Manor's reckless group of

servants, who were all just as curious as he was. That was when the butler finally decided to at least check on the young boy. After putting away the

fine plates that his young master was fond of, Sebastian accompanied the gardener, Finny, outside to the lush gardens that surrounded the

Phantomhive estate. The two spotted Ciel almost instantly, recognizing the customary black and blue ensemble of the child, the dark colors standing

out against his smooth, pale skin. He was seated underneath an old tree not far away, hunched over an unusual black volume as if to shield it from

someone who might approach him from behind. Of course, this only aroused the servants' curiosity further. Ciel appeared to be writing sloppily in this

volume with an ink pen, but what he was writing was unknown at the time. Sebastian and Finny watched this unusual display for awhile, and, upon

realizing that the boy was in no danger, the two left.

**N**ow Sebastian stared at the black volume in his hand, which had carelessly been left atop the young earl's cluttered desk the previous night. There

was no writing nor title on the outside cover of the book, leading Sebastian to believe that it was some sort of business journal for the Funtom

Company. But if this were the case, wouldn't Ciel have shown this to Sebastian? He was, after all, responsible for most of the company's billing and

such. The butler ran one hand through his raven-black hair, trying to decide if he should open the book or leave it on the desk where he found it. If

Ciel were to discover that the book had been opened, he would receive a serious scolding and perhaps have his permission to keep felines in the

garden taken away. But what if Ciel never found out? It wasn't like Sebastian to go behind his master's back, but the boy had never ordered the

butler to stay away from this book before him, and it wasn't sealed in any way. He obviously knew that what he was doing was wrong, but, being a

demon, Sebastian hardly cared. _Well, that settles it, then. _Sebastian quickly opened the book and turned to the first page, eyeing the small, sloppy

writing that adorned it. He looked over these pages with care, his crimson eyes widening all the while. It was what appeared to be a diary. The first

page dated to about a month ago, and the most recent entry had been written that very day. Overtaken by curiosity, Sebastian began to read.

_Dearest Diary,_

_Elizabeth and Aunt Francis stopped by to visit me for the day. I do wish that they had informed me of their plans beforehand, but alas, they did not. They told_

_me that this was "a surprise visit" and that I did look awfully surprised. I imagine I did. I hadn't planned on entertaining company today, and so I had to rely_

_on Sebastian's quick thinking yet again. If it were not for that man, my social life would have gone straight to hell two years ago. I long to be able to let him _

_know how much he's done for me, how much he means to me. I seem to be incapable of properly showing gratitude (and, sadly, emotion in general) without_

_making an absolute fool of myself, though, so I must be content in putting pen to paper and writing these thoughts down. I've never kept a diary before, as I_

_am often occupied with tedious tasks relating to errands from Queen Victoria, as well as social engagements, which tend to be even worse, in my opinion. _

_The only reason that I am starting one now is because my thoughts have been getting in the way of my work as of late, and I believe a diary might help me_

_to organize my seemingly-random jumble of emotions and memories. Of course, I can not write down the pain I feel from my past, can not communicate to_

_you the horror of being defiled as I have. Not one human being, save for me can read this and truly understand what I have experienced. I suppose that's _

_the way it is with every journal: You can read the words one has written and know their story, yet you can not truly relate until you have walked in that _

_person's shoes. Do other children think this way, I wonder? Do they understand that we've no idea what each other is going through? Elizabeth says that I_

_am unusual in my way of thinking, perhaps more advanced than the average thirteen-year-old boy. But how does one know if that's true, if they've never _

_lived the lives of other boys? I fear that I am going mad, as I am nearly always having these thoughts. They seem to often to center around Sebastian, and _

_the guilt I feel for imposing upon him far too often. I try to reason with myself that it's okay, as I've already been through enough in my lifetime to not have_

_to worry about such things. But Sebastian has lived through countless lifetimes. He's seen the death of many great people, experienced life centuries before _

_I have. Has he not earned this right as well? – Ciel_

**S**ebastian stared at the book, feeling as if he were reading the thoughts and musings of a different Ciel, not the one he had spent three years

serving. He saw the child in a whole new light now. Gone was the image of a selfish, spoiled boy with little regard for his servants, and in its place

was an image of a young loner concerned about the misunderstandings that humans generally have of each other. Sebastian's face flushed slightly

as he set the book back down on the table, recalling the parts of the diary where his young master had mentioned him. _I long to be able to let him _

_know how much he's done for me, how much he means to me._ What was that supposed to be mean? Sebastian rubbed his temples, attempting to try

and understand Ciel's words. That was when he realized his inability to interpret their true meaning was exactly what Ciel had been referring to:

Since he was not the one who wrote it, he could not really know what Ciel was meaning. Still, the words wouldn't leave the demon's head. He let out

a sigh as he paced back and forth before the desk where the book rested. Was Ciel meaning that he had feelings for Sebastian romantically, or

perhaps brotherly? Maybe even fatherly? Sebastian slammed his fist down on the desk, his desire for answers overwhelming him. _Damn it._ He had

never much liked things that he couldn't understand, possibly because he knew most everything. He glanced back towards the black diary, realizing

that it was something of a mind game that Ciel was unknowingly playing with him. He would continue to be sucked in to the book, always looking for

answers but only finding more questions. Knowing that he was being foolish and that he should just leave the book and go about his daily duties,

Sebastian picked it up once again and prepared to read the next entry.

_Dearest Diary,_

_I've allowed myself a sort of break today; I figured that putting up with Elizabeth yesterday was more than enough work for me. It has begun to rain a bit, _

_and the weather is absolutely dreadful; I refuse to have to work with the view from my window so dreary. Instead, I engaged Sebastian in a game of chess,_

_but upon finding it nearly time for lunch, Sebastian departed and promised that we'd resume the game afterwards. It has only been a few minutes, but _

_already I miss his company. I find that he is the only person I can make enjoyable conversation with, even though most of his words are only spoke to tease_

_me. Perhaps he does this to catch me off guard, as it is rather shocking that he should communicate with his master in such a way. Maybe this is the way _

_he plans to win at chess. I may focus too much on his words, and forget to study the game, thus accidentally leaving my king vulnerable for capture. But of _

_course, I am not so reckless. I shan't lose at my own game. I shall take any chance I have of winning, hang on even when the chances of my victory are _

_slim. I am the guard-dog of the queen, and therefore I do not lose. This game shall be most interesting, though; I've never matched wits with a demon _

_before. I can picture his handsome features, his devious lips smirking as he moves his pieces across the board, his crimson eyes taking in my every move. I_

_am now studying the board so as to make sure I have the advantage when he comes back to play. I can not wait for his return, and with it, my victory. _

_– Ciel_

**S**ebastian reread the same entry three times over, trying to soak in every bit of information he could. Regardless of how many times he reread it, his

eyes would always drift back to the same line, always try to decode its meaning. _It has only been a few minutes, but I already miss his company. _

Sebastian had always been under the impression that the young master was rather annoyed by his presence, but this line seemed to prove him

wrong. Ciel had seemed to want nothing to do with the demon, had always shooed him out of rooms and grew angered by his mocking words. Hell,

Sebastian remembered times when Ciel would strike him for those very words. Smirking at the idea of Ciel actually _enjoying _his presence, Sebastian

tucked the volume in to his coat and continued to dust the young master's bookshelves. He planned to take the book to his own quarters that night

in order to read more in to Ciel's secret thoughts. After all, it was his fault for leaving the diary out in the first place. Ciel should have known better

than to tempt the devil.


	2. Chapter 2 - That Devilish Smile

**Author's Note: **This is the new chapter! Please let me know what you think of it when you're done. Two chapters for two days in a row is kind-of

quick, so please don't be angry if I don't always post new chapters this soon. I'm trying to go ahead and get people interested so that they'll be

willing to wait if it ever takes a longer amount of time. Future chapters may take somewhere along the line of three to four days to write. I apologize

if Chapter 2 seems short, but please understand that I don't have a lot of time to write. Feel free to tell me about any errors I may have made!

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**Dearest Diary - Chapter 2**

**That Devilish Smile**

"Sebastian!". The cry echoed throughout the vast hallway of Phantomhive manor, creating an eerie sort of effect in the darkness. Before the young

Ciel Phantomhive could repeat his call once more, the demented butler was by his side, a questioning look upon on his face. "You called, young

master?" he asked, smirking ever so slightly in the dimness of the room. Ciel angrily crossed his small arms, clearly agitated. "Damn right I called!" he

exclaimed, frowning. "Have you seen a black book lying about? It was_ missing_ from my office this morning". This statement sounded more like an

accusation than a question to Sebastian. Luckily, the hallway was dark and his amused expression was not visible to his master. "What sort of

book?" Sebastian asked, attempting to hide the malevolent grin spreading across his face. "I organized your office earlier today, and there's a chance

that I put it away with the other books of its sort. Perhaps if you told me its purpose, I could help you to locate it". Sebastian knew exactly what book

the young master was referring to, but he could continue this conversation without lying until Ciel told him himself. "It was - It - It's nothing" Ciel

stammered, and he quickly turned around and began walking back to his bed chamber, his face growing increasingly red. Sebastian couldn't help but

to laugh as he glanced down at the bulge under his overcoat, where the child's diary rested. If Ciel was so anxious to retrieve the book, then surely

something of interest would be in it. He also wouldn't admit that he had been keeping a diary, as if he were embarrassed by its contents. Sebastian

had to restrain himself from opening the book and reading from it right then and there, as his curiosity towards it continued to grow. He forced

himself to walk back to his own quarters, where he locked the door, removed his shoes, and sat down upon his small bed, all the while pondering

what the next diary entry would say. The demon flipped to the third page, craving the sight of the child's writing.

_Dearest Diary,_

_Oh, what a droll game Sebastian and I played! Neither of us would give up the chance of winning, and so our little chess game is still unfinished. We _

_have both captured an even amount of pieces, all of which are pawns. It seems that we are both so clever as to avoid each other's traps, but can we_

_do this forever? Eventually one of us has to make a wrong move, and it shan't be I who does this. Perhaps I am obsessing over this game a bit much;_

_I do not usually put such thought in to my moves whilst playing. I do not believe that I truly care about losing the game. I care about losing to that _

_demon. I feel as if he mocks me because he believes that I am of less importance than he is, that I am nothing but a normal, worthless human. I _

_suppose that this is a way I can prove that I am not worthless to him. Why should I care what a servant thinks of me? Why must I value his opinion? _

_Why must his damned face invade my thoughts and my dreams, that demonic smirk upon those lips... Oh, dear God! What ever has happened to me?_

_I fear that this diary is causing emotions to surface that I wish to stay hidden. It is making me think more about how I feel than how I want to feel. I _

_don't want to admit such things to myself, and yet I know that what I've written is true. Sebastian Michaelis is the first (and hopefully last) to ever _

_make me feel inferior! What is it about him that does this? I know it has something to do with that wicked smile he always flashes, as well as his _

_horrid habit of teasing me (Which at times is rather amusing, but often makes me feel lesser). Is it because of his height? He does tower over me and_

_the other servants, but I'm thirteen so I should be used to adults being considerably taller than I. This angers me! I can usually understand such _

_things, target exactly what I don't like about a person and attempt to change it, but Sebastian is different. It's like I don't actually know the man, _

_even though I've spent nearly three years with him already. He does a good job of hiding his true character, of acting apathetic towards me and the _

_other servants, but... How can a man like this make me feel inferior? It may be because he does have the ability to hide his emotions, and is clearly _

_more experienced than I when it comes to this. Yes, that must be it. I've always had to hide my grief lest people should think that I am weak, and pity_

_me. If there is one thing I can't stand, it's pity. This all makes sense to me now. I can rest easy knowing that Sebastian only intimidates me because _

_of his ability to hide his emotions. I should probably sleep, now that this whole situation is resolved. Oh, dear. I just realized that every entry in this _

_diary has to do with Sebastian in some way. How is he so perfect when I am not? Damn him! - Ciel_

Sebastian laughed hysterically after finishing the third diary entry of the book. The boy's thoughts were truly a mess, and Sebastian had always

admired how calm he _seemed_ to be, for a human that had experienced so much at a young age. Yet this whole time, he had been unknowingly

maddening the boy with his cool demeanor, and apparently, what Ciel referred to as his "perfection". It secretly pleased Sebastian that Ciel thought

so highly of him, as the rest of the people in his life usually feared him or thought of him as a low scoundrel. Of course, he wasn't considering the

maid of the house, who had been obsessed with him since her arrival at the Phantomhive manor. He wasn't fond of her in the slightest, though, and

often chose to work in areas of the house where he knew she wouldn't be. Sighing, Sebastian lay down on his back, closing his eyes and recalling his

favorite parts of the last diary entry he had read. _Why must his damned face invade my thoughts and my dreams, that demonic smirk upon on those _

_lips... Sebastian Michaelis is the first (and hopefully last) to ever make me feel inferior!_ A smile formed on the devil's lips as he pictured the boy, his

large, thickly-lashed, cerulean eyes darting about the room nervously, his flustered face growing a dark shade of crimson as he tried to avoid

admitting that he had ever kept a diary in the first place. "Oh, Ciel" Sebastian whispered to himself, folding his muscular arms behind his head as he

continued to picture the two's last encounter. "If only you knew how much you amuse me".

Meanwhile, the young earl stared up at his ceiling, unable to sleep as all sorts of dreadful thoughts flooded his childish mind. If only he hadn't been

so foolish as to leave his diary in his office unattended, instead of putting it in it's usual place locked in the desk in his bed chamber! What if

Sebastian had the diary at this very moment, soaking in every word, enraptured by the thoughts of his master? Just the idea of this made Ciel very

uncomfortable, and it wasn't too long before he realized that he was having a sort of panic attack. His skin felt unusually warm and he knew for a fact

that he was blushing most terribly. Why couldn't he have kept all of his personal thoughts to himself? Having a diary was extremely risky since he

lived with a bored demon who finds humans and their many thoughts entertaining. He should have foreseen this the day he had bought the diary.

Frustrated and embarrassed, Ciel pulled up his blue comforter and tried to recall exactly what he had written in the diary. He remembered that the

first two entries were fairly normal and didn't contain any of his darker secrets, and the third told about his emotions, but the fourth... _Oh, God._ The

fourth was where he found himself admitting something that he never would have said aloud. It was where it all began. Ciel closed his eyes, not

wanting to worry about things he couldn't control. Slowly, he turned on his side and wrapped his arms around a pillow, pressing his face to its cold

surface in an attempt to cool himself down. Maybe Sebastian didn't even have the diary. Perhaps he really had put it away on one of the bookshelves

in his office, just as he had suggested he might have done. Ciel attempted to forget about all that had happened that day, surrendering to his fatigue

as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

The demon stared at the diary, debating as to whether or not he should continue reading. He knew for a fact that there wasn't that many entries in

the small volume, as Ciel had only recently started writing in it. He thought that maybe he should try and space them out, reading only one per day.

The only problem with this idea, however, was that he found himself increasingly engrossed in his young master's writing, and he wasn't sure that

he'd be able to limit himself to this. _Maybe I should just read one more tonight..._ Sebastian tried his best to keep himself from reaching out to his

nightstand, to leave the diary alone until the next evening, but he felt addicted to its contents. He had to continue reading. He didn't have a choice,

and there was no other option. Sebastian imagined that what he was experiencing was similar to an opium addiction, which was becoming more and

more common throughout Europe as of late. _So, young master's diary is my drug, eh?_ Sebastian chuckled as he found the fourth page of the book,

and began reading.

_Dearest Diary,_

_I believe that I am going mad. No matter what I do, my thoughts always seem to drift back to that butler. I always imagine his taunting voice, his _

_perfect face, that devilish smile. What is wrong with me? I thought I'd uncovered the root of my jealousy (I can not believe that I'm actually writing _

_that word), but something is amiss. It is even worse than before! Still, the image of him haunts me, and I was unable to sleep last night for this very _

_reason. I find myself watching him outside from my office window instead of working, and staring at him when he does not know that I am watching._

_Thank goodness that Elizabeth has not visited once again (She comes quite frequently these days), for she would have noticed how distracted I am. I_

_have not been able to concentrate for two days, and I've avoided Sebastian's gaze for fear of being unable to look away. Even my dreams are no _

_longer private. He's always there, watching, smiling, laughing. Must he invade everything!? He asked the other day if something was bothering me, _

_and it took all of my willpower to not say "You are". I've asked if we could abandon the chess game and he agreed that it was going nowhere, so _

_we've taken our pieces off of the board. I do not know how I could manage to sit across from him for so long without staring... or worse. It is almost_

_as if he has possessed me. Can demons even do that? I wish I could ask him such things, but I do not trust myself in this state. What has this _

_demon done to me? - Ciel_

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**Author's Note: **So, what did you think? How will Sebastian react to the last diary entry he just read? Will he confess to Ciel, or will his demonic nature

get the best of him?


	3. Chapter 3 - Temptation

**Author's Note: **I am _so _sorry that I could not write this sooner! I have been _very _busy as of late, and I haven't had much of a chance to work on it. Do forgive me.

Please tell me what you think about it if you have the time. Also, there is a _lot _of suggestive yaoi in this chapter, so I'm going to go ahead and warn readers... I do

not suggest reading this if you do not like yaoi.

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**S**ebastian stared in disbelief at the small diary resting in his hands. He reread the same entry over and over again, attempting to find at least one line that actually

sounded like it would come from his master. There was nothing. Every sentence, every word, seemed to focus on him and the affect that he had on Ciel. The boy that

Sebastian thought he knew everything about was suddenly a stranger to him. The color drained from the demon's face as this realization came over him. He was

usually an excellent judge of character, so why had Ciel been such a mystery to him? More importantly, how long had Ciel been this way? Had he gotten worse as time

went on? The first two diary entries seemed more like the Ciel he was accustomed to than the last two, as if he slowly began to open up about his true thoughts and

feelings over time. Strangely, the demon was almost... _excited _that he was learning so many secrets that his master wished to hide. Perhaps it was the thrill of actually

getting away with something like this. Smiling to himself, he began to flip through the pages, simply scanning future entries of the diary, teasing himself with the

prospect of the secrets that awaited him in the child's writing. His eyes halted on one small line, which appeared to be written in a hurry. _I want him._ He paused,

unable to breathe for a few seconds. Whom did Ciel want? He was engaged to Elizabeth, who certainly wasn't a _him_. Could it be that the young master was involved

in some sort of scandalous relationship? The demon felt his face becoming increasingly hotter as he began to contemplate what he had just read. He longed to read

more, to learn the name of the person that had managed to tempt _the _Ciel Phantomhive, the boy with no emotions save for sadness and anger. The man pictured the

elegant young child, his beautiful blue eyes standing out against his perfect pale skin. Suddenly, a feeling of despair swept over him. How was it that he had been so

close to the boy all this time, and yet he'd never witnessed any suggestive interactions taking place between him and another person? Ciel's only contact had been

Sebastian and the Middleford family since Madam Red's death, and the boy had even begun to ignore them as well. Could it Elizabeth's brother that Ciel was

interested in? The demon looked down to the diary with a look of disappointment upon his face. Surely it had something to do with the Middleford boy. He was about

Ciel's age, wasn't he? Sebastian was the only other male that was frequently around Ciel, and he was _definitely _not his object of desire... Ciel would probably scold

him for even thinking such a thing, but Sebastian couldn't help but to wonder what it would be like to receive attention from the boy that had always been off-limits...

It was in his nature to desire things he could not have. Sebastian lifted the book to eye-level, attempting to convince himself that he was only depressed because there was no longer a mystery to solve.

_Dearest Diary,_

_Something must be wrong with me. I never do schoolwork outside of my lessons with Sebastian, but I've found myself drawing in my free time. I'm sure another person would_

_ not find this strange, as I can name off many people who have taken up drawing as a hobby. I wouldn't even be truly concerned about it if if were not for the fact that I despise_

_ drawing almost as much as I despise dancing. It is one of the many things that I have little talent with (I sincerely hope this diary never falls in to the hands of Sebastian. Oh,_

_ what mockery I would receive for that line!). I do believe that I am becoming more skillful with this art, however, as today during my drawing lessons Sebastian actually _

_recognized the subject of my sketch. I suppose it was fairly obvious, but still, I found myself smiling once I was alone (Again, if Sebastian ever obtains this diary my reputation _

_is done for). I do not know whether it was from Sebastian's attention or my increasing skill level, but I do know that I was rather pleased with myself for the remainder of the _

_day. I was in such a good mood that I ventured outside of the manor, though it was bit chilly and I had to return almost immediately. Sebastian, of course, __reprimanded me for_

_ being so careless as to leave without an overcoat in this cool weather. This only pleased me more, but for what reason I do not know. I began to entertain the notion that I _

_liked to upset my butler, but I knew that I was only pleased because I could hear those words and pretend that he was truly worried about my catching cold. Speaking of _

_Sebastian... I watched him out in the garden today, a habit that I've taken up only recently. I don't mean to look out the window; it's like my eyes have a mind of their own. _

_One minute I'm staring at my paperwork and the next, my attention is fixated on the demon. I watched as he talked with Finny (Who seemed rather upset about something..._

_ What did he do I wonder?). After he was gone, I went back to working, but still my mind wondered. I couldn't rid my thoughts of his damned face! I was unable to work, as I _

_could concentrate on nothing but those perfect features, those alluring crimson eyes... So sinful. So elegant. So... demonic. It's almost like - I hate to say this - But... _

_Could it be that I'm in love with him? I'm experiencing all of the classic symptoms I've always read about in those cheap romance novels that Mey-rin leaves lying about. But _

_surely that can not be the case. I am engaged to Lady Elizabeth. I must remind myself of that. Still... I fear that I am falling in love with another man. There is no other _

_explanation for my odd behavior as of late. I really need to consider this as a possibility. Even if I am... in love with him (Why is this so hard to write?), there is no possible _

_way we could ever have a relationship. It's Sebastian Michaelis, for God's sake! He's a demon, and he's at least a million years older than I, and... he's perfect. He's incredibly_

_ handsome, intelligent, challenging, charming, proper, demonic, sinful, muscular, tempting... DAMMIT, I LOVE HIM!__  
_

_- Ciel_

There were no words to describe the emotions that surged through Sebastian as he read the next diary entry. His face reddened, his eyes widened, and his heart

beat rapidly in his chest. Sebastian licked his dry lips and reread the words, sure that his eyes had deceived him. They hadn't. The demon was sure that he was having

a panic attack at this point, though why he did not know. The worst part about having read the child's desires was probably the fact that Sebastian _knew _he wasn't

appalled by them, like he should be. The demon imagined the feel of the child's lips against his own, carefully analyzing his reaction to the thought. He wanted to be

disgusted by the idea of kissing another male, a male _human _at that, but he only grew warmer at this thought. Horrified, Sebastian lay the book on his nightstand,

trying to decide what exactly he should do next. He could always ignore his attraction to Ciel, but what fun would _that _be? He was a demon, after all; he enjoyed a bit

of thrill in his life. He'd never actually been attracted to someone like this before, and he was fairly certain he never would be again. It was his only chance to ever

experience this "love" that everyone seemed to be so fond of, and, nervous as he was, he didn't want to miss it. Quickly, he grabbed the diary once again and slipped

out the door, closing it silently behind him. Sebastian must have lost track of time whilst reading the diary, as the hallways were completely dark and there was no

light under Mey-rin's door, who often stayed up late at night to read. Quickly, before another servant could discover him out of his quarters at such an hour, the demon

went upstairs, and, before too long, he found himself outside of the young master's door. He could hear a sound of rustling on the other side, what he presumed to

be Ciel tossing and turning, unable to sleep as he worried about the fate of his diary. Without knocking, Sebastian opened the door, threw the small volume upon the

bed, and smirked deviously. "Did you need something, young master?".

* * *

**Author's Note: **Again, I can not tell you how sorry I am for not publishing this sooner. I'd also like to apologize for the shortness of this chapter, but I fear that I can

not include too much more information in this one, or the next chapter won't be nearly so interesting... Anyone want to take a guess at what happens next? Oh, the

suspense! Muahahahaha!


	4. Chapter 4 - Darkness

**Author's Note: **Here it is! I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it.

* * *

Even in the darkness of the room, Sebastian could tell that Ciel was terribly startled by his unannounced entrance. "Care to explain just what the _hell _is going on,

Sebastian!?" came a loud voice, clearly agitated by having been interrupted from sleep. Sebastian let out a low laugh, which, to Ciel, sounded much like the laugh of a

madman. Perhaps it was. The boy was unsure as to whether or not he was happy about his butler's presence in his room. It was rather late, and he couldn't see

anything save for the moving dark mass that was Sebastian.

"Young master" Sebastian began, approaching the bed slowly as he talked. "Were you not missing a book earlier this morning?". Ciel felt as if his heart had

stopped. His usually-pale face blushed a horrid red, and he grew a bit shaky as he attempted to come up with a logical explanation for the contents of the diary. For

once, regardless of his lying capabilities, he knew that he would be unable to convince the demon that his written words were not true. He swallowed uneasily,

wondering how exactly the devil would react to this situation. Before he could ponder his next move much longer, light filled the room. He turned to find Sebastian

standing at his nightstand, lighting the candles that surrounded his four-poster bed. "Well?".

"Did you happen to see it somewhere?" Ciel asked quickly, hoping against hope that Sebastian had recovered the wrong book. The chances of this were slim to

nothing, but Ciel still found himself hoping. "Indeed I did. It's on the foot of your bed if you'd care to put it away. It is the correct volume, is it not?". Ciel bit his lower lip

worriedly as he glanced towards the foot of his bed, and upon finding that it indeed _was _the correct book, he closed his eyes and swallowed. "You read it, didn't you?"

he asked slowly, clenching his bedspread with his clammy hands. Sebastian smirked as he lit the last candle. "Why are you so concerned, young master? What is in

that book of yours that makes you so uneasy?". Ciel knew that the demon was toying with him now, dodging his questions because he was unable to lie. "You know

perfectly damn well what's in that book!" Ciel cried, turning to face the towering man beside him. Sebastian pretended to be surprised at the very notion, but, unable

to keep it up, he allowed his signature smirk to return.

"At least tell me how far you read". "I honestly do not remember. Shall I have another look so that I can see what entry I was on?". Ciel, infuriated by the fact that

he had actually _admitted _it and still managed to remain calm, ran his hands through his hair in an attempt to calm down. His bangs fell across his eyes, obscuring

Sebastian's mark. "So you know now?". "Know what, young master?". Was this man _seriously _going to make him say this _out loud_? "You truly are cruel" Ciel mumbled,

glancing up towards the demon's perfect face. Sebastian, finally able to see the child's eyes, had an overwhelming desire to embrace the boy, but he quickly

suppressed it. "Why don't you be more specific in your wording? Perhaps then I'll understand perfectly". There was a devilish twinkle in his eyes that nearly drove Ciel

mad. He glared at Sebastian as he reached for the diary and pulled it to his chest protectively.

"I won't stand to be humiliated by a servant". "What is there to be humiliated about?". Ciel looked up, almost as if he were offended by Sebastian's question. "I, Ciel

Phantomhive, head of the Phantomhive family, am in love with a _man_, who just so happens to be a demon _and _my butler. How is that _not_ humiliating!?". Sebastian's

eyes widened as Ciel scowled. "I never thought that you'd actually say it" he laughed, glancing curiously over at the child in an attempt to understand his current

mindset. Hadn't his motto always been "Never give up"?. Ciel lowered his head in shame. "Is this amusing to you?" he whispered. Sebastian, realizing his mistake,

quickly tried to correct himself. "No, young master! It's just tha -" "GET OUT!". Sebastian stepped backwards, a crease upon his brow. "But master -". "I SAID GET

OUT!".

Darkness... That was the only word that could even begin to describe what Ciel was feeling. It seemed as if the weight of one-thousand burdens was weighing

upon his chest, smothering him underneath the grim details that they consisted of. He just felt so heavy, so weighed down... Sighing, Ciel attempted to sit up, but the

weight pushed him back to the tear-soaked, cerulean bedspread that he lay upon. His hair was a mess, its noticeable blue tint no longer visible in the dark of his

bedroom. _Darkness. _Sebastian had arrived once again as soon as the sun rose, bringing tea and apologies. Ciel, of course, had refused both. He knew for a fact that

he shouldn't be blaming what happened on the demon; It was his fault for being so careless with his diary. Yet somehow, he was still angry with him. "Love isn't

anything like I imagined it" he whispered in to the silence of the room. Ciel frowned as he realized how nasally his voice sounded. Had he been crying? He tried to

remember exactly what had happened after the demon had left his room, but everything was blank. His memory consisted only of, well, _darkness. _Somehow, Ciel found

the strength to sit up, and, upon finding that the weight was only a figment of his imagination, he managed to make his way over to the nightstand, where he lit a

candle after several failures doing so. The blinding light caused a searing pain behind his eyes, as he had grown accustomed to the darkness. Wincing, he pulled on a

pair of trousers, tucking in his sleep-shirt as he had seen Sebastian do before. It was then that he decided he could not live without him, could not function properly

without his assistance. Not only was Sebastian a major part of Ciel_'s _everyday life, but he had grown rather fond of him over their time together. That was when he

decided to apologize.

Sebastian was preparing to enter Ciel's bed chamber when the boy himself came out, looking rather disheveled with his messy hair and clothing. Ciel wore no

accessories; Not even his eye-patch rested upon his small body. Yet, Sebastian still found his appearance rather pleasing to the eye. His hair, so dark in color that it

appeared to be blue in the light, hung limply around his pale, sorrowful face. His eyes were large and far brighter, especially the magenta-tinted one that sported

Sebastian's mark. The other was a lovely shade of blue, standing out against his colorless skin. The child was still wearing his white, button-up shirt, but he had tucked

it in to a pair of trousers that he often refused to wear. His feet were bare and his face displayed evidence of tears. He looked like a weak, helpless child, and

Sebastian was somehow pleased by this.

"Sebastian" Ciel mumbled, momentarily surprised at his sudden appearance. The demon let go of the serving cart that he had been pushing and attempted a sad

smile. "Yes, young master?". Ciel struggled, as if he were attempting to form words but could not find the correct ones to express his guilt. He finally settled on a

simple "I'm sorry", leaving Sebastian wanting more. "It is I who should be apologizing. I should not have laughed, as I am sure that you think of this as no joking

matter". Ciel nodded, feeling as if he were on the brink of tears. "I'm just so... _angry _at myself, Sebastian! I can't believe that I allowed myself to fall like this when I

had a perfect life ahead of me with Elizabeth". Sebastian turned his head to the side like a cat, confused. "But it would not have been the perfect life if you were

unhappy, and it's quite obvious that Elizabeth isn't right for you". "How so?". Sebastian smiled once again as he began to speak.

"Because if she were right for you, you'd never have thought about me. You wouldn't have had any fantasies unless they were about Elizabeth. You would do

nothing but obsess over _her_, but instead, you obsess over _me_". Ciel gave this a bit of thought as Sebastian opened his bedroom door, wheeling in the serving cart as

he did so. Ciel followed closely behind, shutting the door and turning to face the demon. "I suppose you're right" Ciel finally admitted, attempting to avoid Sebastian's

crimson eyes. The candle still burned on his nightstand, and though it was dark, Ciel could still make out Sebastian's facial features. He was unable to read his

expression. "How angry are you?" he asked uncertainly, taking a bun from his lunch plate. Ciel took a small bite and chewed as he carefully analyzed the butler's face,

hoping that his eyes would adjust soon and allow him to understand what exactly Sebastian was feeling. "I'm not angry in the slightest". The words surprised Ciel,

nearly causing him to choke as he ate. "Young master, I've been meaning to tell you this since I returned your diary, but I was interrupted this morning and -". "Tell me

what?". Sebastian swallowed, urging himself to continue with his confession.

"I - I love you as well". Ciel was so in shock that he dropped the bread to the floor, looking up quickly in order to meet Sebastian's gaze. "You can't be serious!" he

exclaimed, blushing. "Please do not play with me like this! I am not the stablest person in the world, and -". "No, young master. I truly love you. I did not realize it until

last night, but I do love you". Ciel's face grew red and hot as his mind tried to process what had just happened. "So - So what does this mean?" he stuttered,

desperately wanting answers. "Are we, like, a couple now, or -". "It's entirely up to you". Ciel walked across the room and flung himself in to Sebastian arms, weeping

tears of joy for once in his life. "Sebastian, you don't not know what this means to me!" he cried, allowing Sebastian to wrap his arms around his back and pull him

closer. Sebastian could feel his lips curling in to a smile. "It's just as you wrote" he whispered. Ciel looked up, confused. "What do you mean?" he asked. "In the diary,

you wrote that no one can understand another's life, as one can only truly understand when they experience something for themselves. You're right; I don't know how

much this means to you. I haven't the slightest idea as to what about me makes you happy. All I know is that I'm a demon, and somehow I've gained the ability to

experience human emotions and I have fallen in love". Ciel smiled against him.

"I love everything about you. You really didn't read very far in to that diary, did you?". Sebastian laughed, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the warm body against his

own. "Sebastian?" Ciel mumbled, closing his eyes sleepily. "Yes, young master?". "Do call me Ciel when it's just the two of us. Being called "young master" makes me

feel rather guilty". Sebastian lifted up Ciel in to his arms and lay him down on the bed, soon joining him and embracing him once again. "You're tired, Ciel. I am sure

that you barely slept last night. Perhaps you should get some rest -". "No. I don't want you to leave me, Sebastian. I want you to stay by my side, _always_, and I really

mean _always_. Sebastian laughed as if he couldn't understand why this boy would love him. "Yes, my Ciel". He reached one arm towards the candle by the bed, blowing

it out with one small breath. _Darkness._

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**Author's Note: **Okay, I tried to make up for the last chapter's shortness and lateness with this one... Once again, I apologize for that. Also, I know that my

paragraphs are probably a bit unusual (You can tell that I'm not used to writing in paragraph form). Please tell me if you see any errors, as I haven't read over this

chapter as much as the others. I hope you enjoy it! *Smiles* If you have time, please review it! I'd love to hear what you all think. I'd like to thank everyone who has

left a review of my writing before! It makes me _so _happy that a lot of people like this. One last thing: There was a person who left a helpful review of my "Morning Of

Mourning" short story that really assisted me in creating paragraphs! I'm always looking to improve my writing, so if anyone else has any suggestions or corrections,

I'd be glad to here them!


	5. Chapter 5 - Go To Sleep

**Author's Note: **I am _so _sorry that I can't publish these chapters sooner; I swear, if it were up to me, I would write all day long and become an author. But, real work comes first *Sigh*. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! BTW - I'm still experimenting with paragraphs, so please forgive me for any mistakes. Warning: This chapter has considerably more... "adult content" than the previous chapters. It still isn't considered "M", but I'm warning you. Viewer discretion is advised.

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Ciel awoke to the sound of light breathing next to him. _What the hell? _He instinctively rolled over in order to see who was sharing his bed with him, and, upon finding that his sleeping partner was none other than Sebastian Michaelis, the memories of the previous night (Or had it been day?) came back to him. For once in his life, he smiled. The demon had apparently stayed by Ciel's side as he had slept, and the idea of this pleased him. He reached one small arm out to move a few strands of Sebastian's raven-black hair off of his face, and he noticed that even in his sleep, Sebastian seemed to be smirking.

"Are you really asleep, Sebastian?" Ciel whispered, watching the demon curiously. Instantly, as if he had been waiting for this very question, he opened his eyes.

"No more asleep than you are, I fear." He stared up at Ciel, a look of adoration upon his face.

"Really? Why would you stay here if you weren't even sleeping? Surely I'm not _that _interesting." Sebastian's face took on a more playful look.

"Do you want the truth, Ciel?"

"Have you ever known me to want anything else?" the boy asked, still trying to get over the change in his butler's attitude since the diary incident. Sebastian couldn't help but to smile as he spoke.

"I fear I am as lazy as any average human being, and I much prefer to lay here with you than to deal with those imbeciles downstairs." Ciel laughed, looking in to his butler's eyes. Suddenly, Ciel had a urge to get closer to the demon. He blushed at the idea, but, unable to overcome his desire, he wrapped his arms around the other man's waist and rested his head upon Sebastian's chest. He watched Sebastian's reaction carefully. At first, his eyes seemed to widen, but he seemed to like Ciel's presence against him, and he closed his eyes as if savoring the moment.

"Why don't we go back to sleep?" Ciel asked, allowing one arm to slip up Sebastian's white, button-up shirt. The demon quickly shot a look of surprise at Ciel, clearly uncomfortable with such intimacy.

"Do forgive me, but you have quite a bit of work to do, and the servants will become suspicious if they do not see me today." Ciel brought his lips to Sebastian's ear.

"Do you honestly care?" He trailed his fingers against Sebastian's muscular stomach, noting that the demon appeared to find this action both pleasant and a bit too intimate. Sebastian began to think about Ciel's question. Did he care? Attempting to ignore Ciel's groping hand, he began to think his through. He tried to list all of the things he cared about, which were: Ciel, privacy, and his reputation. Were any of those things at risk if he were to stay here? Okay, maybe his privacy was at stake. Surely the servants wouldn't restrain themselves from asking questions about his absence once he returned to his usual work. His reputation, he believed, was not being threatened in his current situation. Even if the other servants were to discover that he and Ciel were in a romantic relationship (Was this considered a romantic relationship?), they most likely would not care. The maid may be a bit upset, as she had always been rather fond of Sebastian, but the chef and the gardener would probably be happy for him. Sebastian was under the impression that they themselves had taken a liking to one another once they had joined the manor's staff. So, Sebastian concluded that only one thing was truly in danger if he were to stay; his privacy. Ciel, however, was more important than his privacy, he figured, and he would lose Ciel if he were to leave and resume his regular duties. All of this had ran through Sebastian's head in less than a minute, and, pleased with his logic, Sebastian thought of his response.

"I've nothing to lose if I were to stay here with you. You are far more important than any consequences I may suffer at the hands of the other servants." Ciel kissed Sebastian's jaw, happy about the demon's choice. Sebastian glanced down to find that while he was thinking, Ciel had managed to unbutton his shirt.

"Ciel... What are you doing?"

"I'm enjoying myself for once in my life. What are you doing?" Sebastian ignored the question and continued to talk.

"Just how far do you intend to go?"

"It depends... How far do you want me to go?" Sebastian looked at the child uncertainly. He didn't want to upset Ciel, and yet he knew that there was no way he could phrase his response without doing so.

"I don't think we should do this, Ciel." The boy lowered his hands.

"Do what?" he asked mischievously. There was a devilish sparkle in his eyes that resembled the one Sebastian often had.

"You're far too young for such interaction, and you know it, do you not?" Ciel laughed.

"If I am old enough to want you, then I am old enough to have you." he reasoned, moving his hands lower down Sebastian's body.

"Ciel!" Sebastian exclaimed, grabbing the boy's wrists and pulling Ciel's hands away from his body. He took both hands in his own, looking in to Ciel's hurt eyes.

"Let's wait a little while for something like this, shall we?" Sebastian spoke in a low, tender voice, looking in to the boy's eyes all the while. Ciel looked slightly angry to begin with, but soon this look faded. He nodded. Sebastian kissed both of the child's hands and pulled him against his chest.

"We'll go back to sleep." he whispered, and Ciel found himself nodding off in a matter of a few seconds.

"Thank you, Sebastian" he mumbled tiredly, and Sebastian placed a hand around the child's back.

"No, thank you."

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**Author's Note: **This chapter seems a little short, and I apologize for that, but I am often limited on time. I hope you like it! I had a reviewer tell me that they would like to see some Finny x Bard in my story, and I did provide a hint of that in this chapter. As always, instructive criticism is welcome! Thanks to everyone who has helped me and reviewed my story! Hopefully the next chapter will come a little sooner and be a little longer, but you never know.


	6. Chapter 6 - The Real You

**Author's Note: **Words can not express how sorry I am for not writing. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy this chapter! Please do not give up on reading this! I will post as often as I can, that I can assure you. Anyway, I had some suggestions from Kuro-Otaku292 that I used in here. It appears that I need to make something clear: Ciel is the uke, and will always be the uke! Sebastian is simply a caring semme. I hope you guys like this!

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**C**iel awoke to the sound of a rolling cart. Confused, he reached his small hand over to the other side of the bed, but upon finding that he had been sleeping alone, he sat up and squinted in the direction of his open door.

"Sebastian?" The demon's face was hidden by his long, black bangs, but nevertheless, Ciel knew that he was smiling.

"I apologize, young master, but Bard made quite a mess in the kitchen this morning." Ciel looked confusedly at his butler. He'd told Sebastian to call him Ciel unless the two were in the presence of others, but no one else appeared to be in the room. _Why is he acting as if nothing happened? _Feeling slightly hurt by Sebastian's behavior, Ciel rose from his bed and walked towards his partner.

"What ever is the matter, Sebastian?" Even though he had wanted to sound indifferent to Sebastian's behaving as if nothing had happened between the two of them, a pang of worry seemed to be evident in his voice. What was he worried about? After thinking about it for a little bit, Ciel realized that he was afraid of everything going back to how it was before. Had it all just been another one of his dreams? Perhaps he had lost what little sanity he had left, and now he was having overly-realistic hallucinations.

"How kind of you to ask, young master, but I would think that a butler's troubles should not be of importance to someone of your status." Sebastian shot a warning glance towards Ciel as a familiar feeling of worry came over him. It hurt Ciel to think that Sebastian thought he shouldn't care - Or was it all an act? The boy stood on his tiptoes in an attempt to whisper in his butler's ear.

"Why are you being like this?" he asked, loving the feel of the demons soft hair against his face. He closed his eyes, wanting to memorize this sensation.

"Elizabeth". Ciel quickly opened his eyes once again. Sebastian acted as if he had said nothing, simply going about his regular duties. Ciel watched as the demon poured Earl Grey, Ciel's favorite tea, in to a cup with a lovely rose design circling the plate it rested upon. The earl was beginning to think that he had imagined Sebastian's response when a familiar sound echoed through the hallway outside of his room.

"Cieeeeellll!" came the overjoyed screech of a young girl. Ciel quickly snatched his eye-patch from the nightstand and attempted to tie it around his head, relieved to realize that Sebastian's quick hands were there to help him. He had just finished tying it when Elizabeth raced in to the bedroom, her newest pink gown trailing behind her. She wrapped her arms around the boy, and, since Ciel was quite a few inches shorter than Elizabeth, he felt as if he were being smothered by her many layers of frilly slips.

"You seem surprised, Ciel!" she exclaimed happily, pulling away to look at his "darling" face.

"Did you forget we were coming?" Ciel looked uneasily at his bride-to-be, suddenly feeling guilty for his betrayal. Before Ciel could answer her first question, Elizabeth began to overwhelm him with many more.

"Is something the matter? You seem upset. Did you not get enough sleep last night? Haven't I _always _been telling you that you need more sleep than what you're getting!? Why don't you put down your books and records for a change and go to bed early!?" Ciel was appreciative for Elizabeth's concern, but he felt that he honestly didn't need any more sleep. After all, he was fairly certain that he had slept all day yesterday, and with _Sebastian_, of all people. The thought made Ciel smile.

"AH! Ciel! You're so _adorable _when you smile! I mean, you're adorable all of the time, but - Oh, I'm just so glad that you're happy for a change!" Once again, Ciel's fiance smothered him with a tight hug. Unable to move, Ciel ignored Elizabeth's seemingly-endless chatter and began to retreat back in to his thoughts. Why did she feel the need to talk so much? Had he even said once word since she came in? Ciel was pondering this when he heard another voice. It wasn't Elizabeth's. This one was much deeper and sexier... _Oh. _Ciel had completely forgotten that Sebastian was still in the room with him, waiting patiently to dress him.

"Do forgive me, Lady Elizabeth, but Ciel is still not dressed. I would not imagine sending him downstairs to dine with you in these clothes." Ciel looked up at Sebastian gratefully as Elizabeth released her hold on him.

"How silly of me! I've not even noticed! Well, I suppose I'll wait downstairs if you don't mind. Do wear something cute, Ciel. You wear far too much black these days! Such dark colors are not cute at all!" With those many exclamations (Did Elizabeth _ever _stop talking?), the blonde, overly-perky child was out the door. Ciel and Sebastian exchanged a quick glance.

"Would you mind handing me a bandage? I believe she talked my ears off." Sebastian smirked and stifled a laugh, looking over at Ciel with an amused expression. The boy couldn't help but to feel pleased by having made the demon smile. He loved making him happy more than he loved being loyal to the Queen. Sighing, Ciel sat down upon his bed, his messy hair falling across his cerulean eye.

"When will we be able to be together again?" he asked, looking up to Sebastian, who was closing the door.

"We're together now, are we not?"

"You know what I mean, Sebastian." The boy attempted to catch his butler's eyes, but his back was turned.

"Alone?"

"Yes." Sebastian felt a strange, panicky feeling come over him. He truly wanted to be alone with Ciel, but what would happen once they were alone? It was obvious that Ciel wanted things to get... physical between the two, but Sebastian still couldn't ignore the fact that the boy was thirteen. Was it wrong to do such things with a younger man? A _human _man? Was Ciel even considered a man at this age? Sebastian knew that age didn't matter much in the nineteenth century; He'd seen many young girls get engaged to men well over a decade older than them. So what was making him feel so strange? Was Sebastian simply afraid of what he might do if the two were alone? He couldn't ignore his desires forever; Demons could only hold out for so long. Sebastian turned to look at Ciel, who was staring at him intently. Perhaps if they were to simply work their way up... Yes, this may be the answer.

"How about tonight?" he asked, smiling. Ciel rose from the bed and approached the demon.

"Where?"

"Anywhere is fine."

"What about here?"

"Alright."

"Will you stop me this time?" The words seemed to linger in the air, constantly repeating themselves in Sebastian's confused mind. _Would _he stop him? Not wanting to think about it for much longer (This was nearly driving him mad), the demon began walking towards Ciel's closet.

"Please don't try, Ciel. If only you knew how tempting it was, and how much I don't want to hurt you, you would understand." Ciel lowered his head and looked up in to Sebastian's eyes mischievously, his face hidden in a light shadow.

"I can't help it. I'm only human, after all." Sebastian, unable to control himself for much longer, whirled around and pinned Ciel to the bed, kissing his sweet lips forcefully. He held the boy's small wrists above his head, using his weight to hold him down. At first, Ciel let out a muffled cry, as the quick movement had startled him momentarily, but soon he began kissing him back. The boy didn't attempt to quarrel about his position with the demon, but instead excepted his place as the weaker of the two and remained on the bottom. For how long they kissed like this Ciel couldn't say, but he knew that at least a few minutes had passed before Sebastian broke away, obviously realizing what he had done, and not regretting it one bit. Ciel, panting for breath, looked up longingly at the demon. With a devious and alluring smile, Sebastian began to lay Ciel's clothes for the day on to the bed.

"Lady Elizabeth is expecting us, young master. It would be poor conduct on your part for you to not accompany her for breakfast this morning." That was it. The spell was broken between the two. They had gone back to being butler and master, demon and human, man and boy. Ciel, a bit disappointed by this, allowed himself to be dressed by his butler, his skin tingling at every touch of the demon's soft gloves. He wrapped his small arms around Sebastian's neck, who was still kneeling to help Ciel slip his shoes on.

"I'll miss you." he whispered.

"You know that I am always by your side. Pray, how can you miss me?"

"I'll miss the real you." With that, Ciel kissed Sebastian's cheek softly and stood up from the bed, following his butler in to the dining room where his "love" waited.

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**Author's Note: **Reviews? Suggestions? Instructive criticism?


	7. Chapter 7 - Secrets

**Author's Note:** I realized that I made a mistake in the earlier chapters; Elizabeth's surname is not "Middleford" but "Midford" I'm sorry if I confused or annoyed any of my readers by messing up such a simple fact! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I tried to post one a bit sooner than usual to make up for my lateness. Also, it is rather long... BTW - Here comes the antagonist!

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**E**dward Midford watched suspiciously as the young earl and his older servant made their way towards the dining table, where his small family had been waiting for quite some time. His sister, obviously unaware of just how lengthy their absence had been, quickly rushed to the side of her fiance, who seemed bothered by her displays of affection.

"My Ciel! Your outfit is simply _darling_, and I've never seen such color in your face!" she squealed, causing a bit more red to become visible in the boy's cheeks. Edward squinted his eyes. Why would he blush at such a statement? Feeling the need to let the young Phantomhive know that such behavior was not permitted for someone who was to wed his sister (He was, after all, nearly ten minutes later than Edward had estimated), the blonde male began to speak.

"Did you have more important obligations, Phantomhive?" Edward didn't try to mask the cruel undertone of his voice. He needed to know that this wasn't acceptable, wasn't what was to be expected in the groom of a Midford lady. Ciel's blue eye widened at this remark, as if he hadn't expected such an accusation upon his arrival in the dining room. Gritting his teeth, Edward waited for an answer. Edward was certainly right; Ciel hadn't expected to be questioned about his absence. He honestly hadn't realized that he had been gone for too long. Luckily, he was an experienced liar. Even though it was one of the few things his beloved (That being Sebastian, not Elizabeth) despised about him, Ciel began to talk through this issue.

"Forgive my tardiness, sir, but your dear sister requested that I wear something with a bit more color than is displayed in my usual garb. I had a specific outfit in mind, but, as I have not worn it in quite some time, the exact location of it wasn't clear. This resulted in Sebastian having to do a bit more searching than usual."Ciel smirked at the boy, knowing perfectly well that whatever he accused him of, he could lie his way out of it. Hoping that Edward was done talking, he made his way to his usual chair at the dining room table and seated himself. Elizabeth was to his left, and Francis was to his right. Unlike most nobles, they often sat closer together so that they could converse easier (This was Elizabeth's idea, not Ciel's). Francis was not too fond of the idea, but since both her husband and daughter supported it, she had decided to go along with it. Edward seemed to have recovered a bit from Ciel's perfect response, and he began to ask yet another question. Luckily, Elizabeth had ceased talking.

"Doesn't that mean that your butler is at fault? The servants that dress you are expected to know exactly where everything is located, are they not?" Ciel shot a murderous glare towards Edward. Was he seriously going to try to keep this game up? Didn't he know that Ciel was going to win? Ciel _always _won; Seeing as how they had known each other for many a year, you would have thought that Edward would have learned this by now. The boy could see the hatred in Sebastian's eyes as he looked over at Edward. Nearly snickering, Ciel decided to satisfy this inquisitive young man with an answer.

"I honestly believed that the outfit would no longer fit me, seeing as how I have had a growth spurt in the past month or so. I informed Sebastian about this concern, and he agreed that it wouldn't do to have me wearing an outfit that it is a bit too short for my current height. I didn't want to throw it out just yet, as I hadn't tried it on for a while and I didn't know for sure whether or not it would fit me properly. Tanaka put it away in the back of my wardrobe until a later time, and, upon remembering this when Elizabeth requested that I wear a brighter outfit for breakfast, I asked Sebastian to look for it. There was no way he could have known the location of this outfit unless he had talked to Tanaka after his work was done, but this is strictly forbidden here. All of my servants are required to be in their rooms by nine o'clock at night, and Sebastian finishes his work around this time." Sebastian looked over at Ciel, a thankful smile upon his face. He honestly hadn't believed that the boy would stand up for him, and yet he had. Even though he disproved of lying himself, he was rather impressed by Ciel's fibbing capabilities.

"That was quite an explanation, Phantomhive." Edward raised his eyebrows as if challenging the younger noble.

"But why is it that you act so defensive over a _servant_?" Sebastian's crimson eyes became an even more noticeable shade of red, and Ciel shot him a warning glance.

"It merely bothers me that you're indicating that my finest servant has made a mistake. He's a Phantomhive butler, after all; He has to live up to high expectations, and I see to it that he meets them." The demon smiled to himself as he poured Elizabeth a cup of tea. He was the _finest _servant. Isn't that what his master had just said? He began to smirk a bit, realizing that he was reading a lot more in to this than the humans were.

"Does it really matter why he is defending his servant, son? It's rather rude to ask such questions, and some of these things are of a personal nature, I am sure." Ciel grinned triumphantly at Edward, who was being offered a scone from the serving tray that Sebastian had filled earlier. Francis cut a piece of her food in silence, her eyes glued to the fine china her breakfast rested upon. Elizabeth looked around happily, not understanding that Ciel and her brother were practically arguing.

"What are we going to do today, Ciel!? Can we go riding? We haven't done that in quite some time, you know! Or, perhaps we could go shopping in London together! We would have to ride a little while to get there, so we could have the best of both options!" She looked from face to face, hoping for the approval of both Ciel and her family members.

"Elizabeth -" Ciel started, but, upon seeing her brother's angry expression, he quickly changed the tone of his voice.

"Absolutely. We can do whatever you want." Sebastian looked over at him, hurt and surprised by this statement. Ciel caught his eyes, hoping to communicate his intentions to him. Seeming to understand, the demon finished his business at the table and then left the room. The young earl stared longingly after him. Could Sebastian tell that he was staring? Do demons have the ability to sense such things? Feeling alone, he began to eat and pretended to be interested in the droll conversations of the other nobles. Of course, his thoughts were elsewhere. All throughout the meal, he fantasized about Sebastian and how much better he had felt since he had taken it to the next level with him. Would life always be as sweet as this? A great deal of other thoughts and ideas traveled through his head, but the last of them before he agreed to spend his day with Elizabeth was simply a short question, and yet it seemed to matter the most to him. _When can we be together again?_

**_Eleven Hours Later..._**

**C**iel pulled his soft comforter tighter around himself, shivering in the cold of his bedroom. When was Sebastian coming? It was eight o'clock at night, and, unable to fake interest in Elizabeth's new gowns she had purchased in town from the local seamstress, or even her father's new fencing match record, he had chosen to retire early this night. The room was dreadfully chilly, yet still Ciel didn't call for his butler, lest anyone should get suspicious. He'd even chosen to bathe himself this evening, though the results were disastrous and he'd still had to summon Sebastian. Ciel watched as the last embers of the fireplace began to disappear, leaving his room both dark and ridiculously cold. Suddenly, he heard the sound of the door opening. Was it Sebastian? Not wanting to take any chances, Ciel covered his marked eye with his bangs and feigned sleep, glancing up occasionally in hopes of seeing who was in his bedchamber. All doubt was erased from his mind once he heard Sebastian's whisper against his ear.

"Should we wait a while?" Ciel looked around, but could only see the glow of two red eyes next to him . This would have frightened most, but the shining crimson orbs were a welcome sight to the boy.

"Have we not waited long enough?" He reached his hand out in to the darkness, finding Sebastian's larger one almost instantly.

"I didn't think you liked to take chances."

"I try to avoid them at times."

"Then why are we taking one now?"

"Because I simply can't help myself, Sebastian!" With that, Ciel leaned forward a bit, and, even in the darkness, Sebastian was able to pull the boy against him in to a warm embrace. He could feel a hand lift his chin up ever so slightly, and then a pair of passionate lips collided with his own. Ciel closed his eyes, never wanting this moment to end. But, like everything else in his life, it would.

_**Elsewhere...**_

**E**dward walked down one of the many confusing hallways of Phantomhive manor, attempting to memorize every turn and curve he met along the way. What would his excuse be if he were to be discovered in this part of the house? He certainly couldn't tell the truth; The Phantomhive boy would be most upset by his snooping. What was he to say, then? He paused for a moment to contemplate this, but, upon seeing a bit of light up ahead, he chose to continue onward. He came to yet another staircase that led downwards, but to what he did not know. The light was visible somewhere at the bottom of the stairs. Edward allowed his curiosity to take control of him, and he followed the light up ahead. He passed many different doorways, but none were of interest to him. What he was looking for was the servant quarters. Even though it was rather unheard of for a noble to enter this part of a house, the boy had an overwhelming desire to see if what Ciel had said was true. If memory served him correctly, the child had said that all of the servants were to be in their rooms by nine o'clock. It was a bit past this hour, so Edward had decided that this was the perfect time to either confirm or debunk this fact. He suddenly realized that he had made it to what appeared to be the rooms of the household servants, and, without even thinking of the consequences that would follow, he opened the one door without light escaping from beneath it. The room was empty. A feeling of satisfaction came over the young man at the thought of Ciel's lie. This obviously meant that there was something to hide, but what it was was yet to be discovered. Perhaps if he were to find out which of the servants occupied this room... Edward paused, realizing that the uniform folded up on the bed was one of a butler, not one of a cook, gardener, or maid. Alongside it was a pin he had seen the main butler - Sebastian - wear. He began to think over his new discoveries, understanding that the butler was missing and he wasn't wearing his uniform, which meant he wasn't performing chores around the house. What on Earth was he doing then? Edward quickly left the room, finding his way back up to the main hallway, where he proceeded to locate the earl's bedchamber. He could clearly see a light still on, though the boy had supposedly retired nearly two hours ago. Why wasn't he asleep? Edward pressed his ear to the door, catching the voice of an older gentlemen, definitely not Ciel, say something. After listening for a few more moments, he caught another word, though he was sure that this was said in the voice of the earl.

"Se-Sebastian!" Edward's eyes widened. So Sebastian was here? And not in uniform? Just what was the earl up to? The voices rose, and he began to pay attention once again.

"...want this..." The words were muffled, and Edward had a hard time catching all of them, but he was certain that this was what he had heard. When he began to recognize the sound of footsteps approaching the door, he quickly slipped in to the shadows, watching as both a disheveled Ciel and his butler left the room, whispering to each other and laughing. _Now is my chance... _Edward rushed in to the bedroom, looking for any clues that may assist him in proving that Ciel was up to something and was not a suitable husband for Elizabeth. The bed was wrecked, but this was the only thing out of the ordinary. He was quite disappointed until a small volume caught his eye. There were no other books lying about in this room. Edward snatched it up and flipped to the first page, eager to learn the Phantomhive secrets. The first two words were written in Ciel's handwriting.

_Dearest Diary_

Edward stared at the page. "This is it" he whispered. He had finally found what he was looking for; a book full of secrets with which he could stop the marriage he had dreaded for so long. Surely there were better men for his darling little sister! Hastily, he left the room, ready to spoil the good name of the Phantomhive family.

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**Author's Note: **So, what do you think? Did I make any errors? Do you have any suggestions to improve my writing (And this story)? What do you think is going to happen? I've made a few corrections since I first posted this, so hopefully it will be easier to read.


	8. Chapter 8 - Eerie Eyes

**Author's Note: **I can't wait to see what you think! Okay, I can wait, but it will be rather difficult. Oh, please refrain from harming Edward! I almost forgot to mention that. Haha!

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**"S**ebastian?" Ciel looked up to meet the eyes of the demented servant, the boy's small hand resting in his butler's larger one. The two had been walking together for some time, but not a word had been said. It wasn't your usual awkward silence, but instead a sweeter one, with everything there was to say being communicated by eyes only. This was such a beautiful moment, more peaceful and perfect than anything the butler and the boy had ever experienced. Ciel almost hated to break it.

"Yes?" The young noble's lips curled in to a smile, the boy obviously attempting to hold back laughter.

"This is an order." Sebastian glanced over at Ciel with renewed interest.

"Oh? And what is this order?"

"I order you to refrain from killing Edward." Both men burst in to a fit of laughter. If the moment was wonderful before, it was even more wonderful now. The laugh escaping Sebastian's lips was not his usual devious laugh (Though Ciel found this laugh of his rather sexy), but a genuinely amused laugh. It gave Ciel a warm feeling in his chest, one that he had never experienced before.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"I love you." Ciel grinned as Sebastian leaned over him, their smiling faces meeting within a fraction of a second. The two stopped holding hands and began holding each other, each desperately craving the taste of the other's lips. Ciel had his arms wrapped around Sebastian's muscled torso, and Sebastian was steadying Ciel's head with both hands. The boy suddenly noticed that Sebastian was not in his usual attire, and was merely wearing a white, button-down shirt with black trousers. His hands and feet were bare, like Ciel's. The visible black nails and demonic mark upon Sebastian's body reminded Ciel that he and his butler were still a part of the covenant they had made long ago, and that Sebastian was _required _to be loyal to his master. Horrified by this realization, Ciel pulled away. Sebastian attempted to pull the boy back against him, a hungry look in his demonic eyes. This soon disappeared, however, when he began to understand that the boy was trying to get away from him. It was replaced by a look of sadness and hurt, similar to what Ciel had seen in him during breakfast when he'd agreed to stay with Elizabeth. The demon lowered his head.

"Is something wrong?" Ciel had rarely heard emotion in Sebastian's voice, so the flood of pain evident in these words was quite a shock to him.

"It - It's just... Do you only pretend to love me because of the contract?" Sebastian reached out for Ciel's hand, and the boy found himself allowing him to take it once again.

"Do you really think that I'd do such a thing?" Ciel swallowed, blinking back tears. He felt so ashamed for even considering this. He leaned against Sebastian, overtaken by guilt.

"No."

"And do you think that I'd lie to you?" A sniffle was the only thing that broke the silence until Ciel answered the demon.

"No."

"When I say I love you, Ciel, please understand that I mean it." Sebastian pulled Ciel against his chest, wrapping both arms around his back and placing his head atop the boy's. He could feel Ciel's tears soaking in to his shirt, which made him want to hold the younger man tighter.

"I love you too, Sebastian." The words were muffled, but they were just as meaningful nonetheless. The two returned to blissful silence for the rest of their evening rendezvous.

_**Elsewhere...**_

**E**dward stared at the open book before him, mentally rubbing his hands together like some sort of pathetic villain in one of Elizabeth's childish fairy tales. He had waited for this moment for so long, though he thought that it would merely remain a dream of his. Now, it was a reality. He could stop the wedding and prevent that scoundrel from marrying his beloved little sister, who deserved someone far better than him. Edward had always believed that this marriage was only planned for the new title Ciel would achieve once he married Elizabeth (She was of a higher social status than him, after all). He never acted as if he cared for her romantically, and seemed to be rather annoyed by her many visits to Phantomhive manor. Now was his time to prove it. The mischievous blonde, thinking that perhaps the noble would slowly begin to write more of his feelings down in the diary as time progressed, opened the volume up to one of the middlemost pages. His eyes searched for scandalous words, starving for evidence to prove just what a horrid soul Ciel is. He was disappointed, however, for the pages lacked words entirely. In their places were detailed sketches of seemingly random things. The first page depicted a set of cat-like eyes that made Edward feel slightly violated, almost as if his most personal, innermost thoughts were being read. Quickly, he turned to the next page, which appeared to show a simple door. He recognized it as being one of the doors downstairs, where the servants stayed. Thinking that these illustrations could provide some insight in to the secrets of the earl (After all, a picture was supposedly worth a thousand words), Edward decided to keep skimming over these unusual pictures. The quality of said sketches slowly improved as he went along. He saw wilting roses, ornate tea-pots and serving trays, smirking lips, gloved hands, and more of the eerie eye-pictures. These pictures continued towards the back of the book, ending with a full illustration (Which, Edward had to admit, was skillfully drawn) of a man with dark bangs hanging over his eyes, which were similar to the eye depictions found throughout the volume. He noticed that the lips and gloved hands shared similarities with the other pictures as well. What did all of this mean? Edward put his tired hand to his forehead, attempting to think things through. The picture was obviously of the butler Sebastian, the same servant that Ciel seemed to be rather protective of and disappeared with at night. _By Jove! Could it be...? _Edward's eyes widened, all of this new information sinking in. Ciel was not in love with Elizabeth, but with Sebastian.

"I - I never expected this" he whispered, yet no matter what way he looked at all that had happened, he always came up with the same conclusion. He rose from the chair by his desk and opened the window by the bed, hoping for a bit of fresh air. Edward needed to think. How was he to break the news to his parents? His sister? It broke his heart to imagine the horror-stricken face of a shaking Elizabeth, her whole life completely ruined by the thought of losing Ciel, not to a fire, as she had once thought before, but to another man. Edward began to have a panic attack. He had always thought that a moment such as this would be sweet, but now that he knew what he knew, he felt weighed down with many burdens, one of them being guilt. Suddenly, Edward noticed movement down in the garden. He looked down, and, upon realizing that it was Ciel and Sebastian, a sickening feeling came over him. Even though he'd always thought of Ciel as an enemy, he now realized that the boy had been a secret friend. He had enjoyed the taunting games they had played together, as he was the only individual that had ever challenged him in any way. Other nobles simply let things go, but Edward and Ciel had both been of a childish mindset and hated to lose. They'd go back and forth with their arguments, neither of them hesitating to answer a question. It had been fun while it lasted. Edward watched the two figures below with dread in his heart.

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**Author's Note: **Any suggestions, corrections, predictions, or reviews (Wow, that's an awful lot of "tions", isn't it?).


	9. Chapter 9 - Flames

**Author's Note: **I'm honestly considering rewriting the earlier chapters. Any objections?

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**C**iel Phantomhive looked around his large bedroom, a familiar feeling of emptiness growing inside him. It was almost as if the boy only lived when he was in the presence of his beloved, going in to a lonesome slumber as soon as he noticed the demon's absence. Now was one of those darker times, the times that made him feel as if life wasn't worth living. The diary, the book that Ciel had hidden for so long, was now gone, and he knew exactly who took it. The only thing he was unsure of was what the culprit - Edward - intended to do with it. Would he immediately turn it over to his parents, or would he use it to blackmail Ciel? Such questions made the boy's head spin and his chest ache. If Edward turned the book in to his parents, Ciel's life was completely over. Elizabeth would make sure that he was properly humiliated, in order to get revenge for her broken heart, and this would result in the disgrace of the Phantomhive name, or perhaps Ciel's fall from nobility. The boy clenched his teeth in anger, contemplating his future actions. Should he directly confront Edward? _No, that would give him an advantage over me. If he sees how crucial it is that the diary isn't made public, he'll use it as a blackmail tool, thus resulting in further humiliation for both me and Sebastian. _Should he simply act as if nothing happened? He could always lie to the Midfords, tell them that Edward wrote the whole diary himself in an attempt to stop the marriage of Elizabeth and Ciel. _That diary is rather long... Would they believe that that troublesome son of theirs would go to such lengths in order to humiliate me? Not only that, but it **is **my handwriting. _Ciel slammed his fist down against the table, his anger taking over.

"Damn it!" he cried, and, as soon as the words were out of his mouth, the demon was once again by his side.

"Ciel?" Sebastian cast a concerned look towards the shaking child, wondering just what the hell was going on.

"It's Edward" Ciel hissed through clenched teeth, turning to face the demon with rage in his eyes.

"He's taken the diary." Sebastian was momentarily shocked.

"Are you sure you haven't misplaced it?"

"You know yourself that it was in here only a few moments ago." Sebastian reached out and grabbed Ciel's thin wrist, pulling the child alongside him as he began to walk angrily towards the door.

"What are you thinking!?" Ciel exclaimed.

"If we show up like this and demand the diary back, we'll seem desperate. It'd give him power over us!" Although Ciel resisted the strong hand that continued to pull him down the hallway, it did not slow Sebastian down. The two continued at their brisk pace towards the rooms where the Midford's were staying. Sebastian only stopped when the doors of said rooms became visible. He knelt down to Ciel's level and put both of his hands on the child's shoulders, looking in to his deep-blue eyes.

"Which is more important: Seeming desperate or losing the social status that both you and your family has worked so hard for?" The way that Sebastian said these two things made Ciel feel as if neither was important, but, feeling obligated to choose, he began to mumble.

"My social status..."

"Then it's settled. We're going to retrieve that diary, and Edward is going to cooperate." Ciel leaned forward and planted a sweet kiss against Sebastian's lips.

"Thank you" he whispered, his voice sounding nasally from the tears welling up in his eyes. Sebastian stood up, pulling the boy along with him, and proceeded to knock against Edward's bedroom door.

**_Meanwhile..._**

**E**dward froze as a sudden knock on the door ended the silence of Phantomhive manor that he'd become accustomed to. No one would come at such a late hour, save for -

"Phantomhive" the blonde whispered. He'd apparently noticed the diary's absence already. _My, isn't he an observant one! _Edward couldn't help but to realize that he was beginning to panic a bit, though why he did not know. In a fistfight with Ciel (If it were to come to this), Edward would obviously win. He was the stronger and taller of the two, meaning he had an advantage over the young boy. But if it were Sebastian who was knocking against the door... Edward chewed his bottom lip, thinking things over. The butler was far taller and a great deal more muscular than both Edward and Ciel. How was Edward to succeed with a devilish giant fighting against him? He glanced towards the raging flames in the fireplace, sitting down upon his bed and crossing his legs in an attempt to look perfectly calm.

"Do come in." The door opened, confirming Edward's worst fears. Both Ciel and Sebastian stood in the doorway, and they looked _livid _with anger. It was Edward who who dared to speak first.

"And to what do I owe this visit?" It was a daft line under these circumstances, but Edward still said it in anyway, as he was lost for words. Ciel smirked deviously, which, Edward hated to admit, frightened him just a bit. The two visitors in his bedchamber looked quite evil, dark glares plastered upon their pale, handsome faces.

"Spare me the common pleasantries, Midford. We both know what I'm here for" Both Edward and Sebastian looked towards Ciel as if waiting for him to say more, but not another word escaped his lips. Edward suddenly felt the need to speak up.

"Indeed. But would you be willing to say your purpose for being here, I wonder? Or are you just too proud for such a thing?" Ciel's hand went instinctively to the area where his gun lay, but Sebastian shot him a warning glance.

"I never took you for a fool, boy, but you certainly are behaving like one." It was Sebastian who spoke. Edward raised his eyebrows, trying his best to look amused.

"I never thought you were one to speak to your betters this way, _butler_." Before Edward could praise himself for what he considered to be an excellent comeback, Ciel began talking once again.

"Stop behaving childishly and just tell us where the damned book is!" Edward couldn't help but to laugh. It further angered both Ciel and Sebastian, and it looked as if they were just about to kill Edward with their bare hands when he decided to confess.

"You needn't worry about that little book of yours, Phantomhive." Ciel and Sebastian exchanged a confused glance.

"Pray, what do you mean?"

"Have you forgotten that we grew up together? Do you really think that I'd shame a friend?" _He's lying. He must be! This is too good to be true. _

"Friend?"

"All of these challenges have been just harmless fun, Ciel. Though I've always dreamed of finding an excuse to end this marriage, I knew that it was merely because I wanted to win this game. Now I have won, and I am content to leave it at that. I have my excuse, but I shall never use it." Ciel was practically gaping at Edward.

"You mean you're not going to tell Elizabeth about all of this?"

"She may be my sister, but I look at you as a brother."

"Then there is still going to be a wedding between the two of us?" Ciel asked, dreading the answer.

"Only if you want there to be." Sebastian looked toward Ciel worriedly. He'd always been angered by Elizabeth's being a threat to the two's happiness, but what if it was Elizabeth that Ciel wanted to be with and not him? She was of the opposite sex, meaning that such a relationship would be appropriate, whereas Ciel and Sebastian's relationship would be frowned upon by basically everyone in England. Now was the moment that would decide both Sebastian and Ciel's future. The noble looked towards Edward, a genuine small upon his face.

"I love Sebastian, not Elizabeth." Edward was a bit surprised that Ciel had confessed out loud, but nevertheless, he accepted his answer.

"So what shall I tell them?"

"Tell them what you told me."

"What do you mean?"

"Tell them that we look at each other as siblings, and it would be rather disgraceful to marry a sibling, would it not?" Ciel's smile was contagious, infecting everyone in the room.

"Indeed I shall."

"But I do have another question, Edward."

"And what is that?"

"What _did _you do with the diary?" Edward extended his pointer finger towards the roaring flames in the fireplace. Ciel watched the flames, realizing that not only were they burning the evidence that could have ruined his life, but the alternate fate he would have suffered if he had had to marry the woman he did not love.

"You have my blessing, Ciel."

"And for that I thank you" he whispered.

The boy slipped his hand in to Sebastian's, watching his past burn.

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**Author's Note: **This chapter will be followed by an epilogue, and then this story shall end! I have enjoyed writing it, and I thank you all for reading and offering suggestions to help me and further improve my writing skills. Like I said in my previous author's note, I may edit the earlier chapters a bit. I hope that no one minds! Did I make any errors with this chapter? Did it turn out the way you thought it would? If you have the time, please leave a review! After I'm done writing and tweaking this story, I may start a "Resident Evil / Biohazard" or "Death Note" fanfiction, as I already have two "Kuroshitsuji" stories on this website and I'd like to have a variety of different fanfictions available for readers. I'll still post "Kuroshitsuji" fanfictions though, so don't worry! Once again, I thank you!


	10. Epilogue - To Eternity

**Author's Note: **Well, this is the end of "Dearest Diary". I've enjoyed writing this story, and I hope that you all have enjoyed reading it! Thank you all for your suggestions, reviews, and corrections. I am thankful for all of the help and support I have received whilst writing this. Please remember that there are more stories to come, and I will be starting a new one very soon! Once again, thank you for reading this story.

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**Epilogue**

Ciel opened the plain door before him, looking about the empty servant quarters that his butler had resided in for nearly three years. The wardrobe was empty, the mattress was bare, and no fire crackled in the fireplace. He'd only been in this room twice in the few years since it'd been built, but he hadn't ever been to actually pay a visit to Sebastian. He suddenly regretted this, realizing that if he had visited Sebastian before the discovery of his diary, he might have obtained happiness a little bit sooner. The boy stared in to the empty room a for quite a while, closing his large eyes and remembering the torturous months prior to his romantic affair with the demon.

"And just what is the young master doing here?" Ciel quickly turned around in surprise, but was suddenly surrounded by a pair of warm, muscular arms, a sensation that he wanted to last forever. He could feel lips press against his neck, and he couldn't help but to smile.

"Sebastian!" Ciel laughed, reaching up to touch the large hands that held him.

"Did I startle you?" Instead of answering that question (Ciel was still reluctant to admit to weakness), the boy managed to turn around and press his lips against the demons, the two locked in a tight embrace.

"Mr. Sebastian!?" came a startled cry from somewhere behind the two. Ciel could feel Sebastian pull away, his warm body no longer pressing against the boy's skin. Mey-Rin stood not too far away, her hand clamped over her nose in an attempt to mask her nosebleed.

"Do you need something, Mey-Rin?" The red-headed maid watched the two for a few more seconds before responding.

"N - No everything is fine, yes it is." She quickly turned around and stumbled away, blood dripping down the front of her dress. Ciel looked back to Sebastian, examining his appearance.

"We should have new suits made. I can't have you wearing servant clothing for the rest of your life."

"How generous of you." Ciel smiled once again. Everything had been perfect since that night three months ago, when Edward had burned the diary. The next day had been rather difficult, as Elizabeth seemed to be quite upset at first, but she began to understand once she realized that she too only possessed familial affection for Ciel. Francis had been angry for about a week, but her husband had eventually convinced her that it was for the best. The Midford family still visited from time to time, but, thankfully, their visits were not as frequent as they had been. They came perhaps twice a month, giving Ciel and Sebastian plenty of time together without interruption. The two had given upon on attempting to hide their relationship (Though they still kept it secret from Elizabeth lest she should seek revenge) , and instead did just about whatever they wanted when they wanted. The servants were aware that there was something between the demon and the earl, but Mey-Rin was still shy about the whole matter. Regardless, Ciel was happier than he had been in years.

"Would you mind walking with me to the rose garden, Ciel? I have something that I'd like to ask you." Ciel's heart nearly stopped. Would Sebastian ask to end this relationship? Did he not truly love Ciel? Would he ask to leave Phantomhive manor? Negative thoughts and questions rushed through the young boy's mind, a familiar feeling of depression settling over him.

"I don't mind." The two walked together hand-in-hand outside, where it was just a bit chilly and a gentle breeze blew throughout the grounds. Ciel didn't protest when he felt Sebastian slip his coat on to his shoulders, knowing perfectly well that the man was only trying to prevent him from becoming sick (He was prone to illness, after all). After awhile, Sebastian stopped, slowly turning to face the young earl. Ciel's chest ached from the suspense. The demon took both of Ciel's hands in his own, looking down in to his uncovered eyes and smiling.

"I don't understand how I feel this way, Ciel, nor do I want to. I just know that this feeling is... Right. I never want it to end, and so I won't question it lest it should leave me forever. I know this is a lot to ask of you simply to make me happy, but... Would you willing to spend eternity with me? I can't imagine living without you; the very thought of this pains me in a way that I can not describe." Ciel looked up in to Sebastian's crimson eyes, shocked by the emotion behind this proposal. The boy had always wondered what would happen once it became time for the demon to collect his soul, but he never imagined that Sebastian would skip that entirely. Ciel was shaking.

"You mean... You want me to become a demon?"

"Only if you wish to." Ciel didn't have to think twice before answering.

"Of course I will." Sebastian' smiled at this answer, almost as if he wasn't expecting such a quick response. He leaned over and kissed the smaller man, pulling him closer against him.

_**Later...**_

**T**he two lovers sat across from one another at the long dining table, but neither of them sat at the ends. This would require them to be further apart, something that the men could not tolerate. They needed to be closer together, needed to be able to look in to each other's eyes and talk to one another when the urge arose. Bard had managed to pour them both glasses of wine, and now they stared at them, their feet overlapped underneath the grand table. Neither of them spoke for quite sometime, Sebastian being the only one of them to eventually break the silence.

"I propose a toast." Ciel looked up, interested. He picked up his ornate wine glass with one dainty hand, glancing back towards Sebastian, who raised his glass as well.

"To eternity." Ciel grinned as their glasses clinked together. _To eternity._

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**Author's Note: **Thank you all so much for reading! What did you think of the ending?


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